Embrace the Crazy

I’ve wrecked a lot of cars.  Which is really sad because I’ve been driving 3 years less than most people my age. 

The good news is that my husband and I  carry really good car insurance. 

My 2^nd major accident took place in Fort Wayne, Indiana on icy roads.  I lost control of my little Ford Taurus on a four-lane highway, and when I stopped spinning I ended up stalled out, facing the wrong way.  A semi truck was coming right toward me.

 

I braced myself for impact. 

It’s an action I find myself doing a lot lately. 

“Hey, Becky, what’s new with you?”

“Well, we’re adopting 7 year old special needs twin girls from [insert name of Eastern European country on the brink of civil war here]. 

Brace for impact.

Prepare for condemning questions.

Prepare for disapproval.

Prepare for lectures and concerns. 

I lie awake at night planning rebuttals in my head.  And I walk around feeling constantly like Lucille Ball, who’s just heard for the 100^th time, “Lucy!  You have some ‘splainin’ to do!” 

And I think God has been telling me to chill out.  To relax.  To embrace the crazy. 

Because, believe me, that is exactly how most people view what we are doing! 

And what God wants me to do is to stop focusing on the world’s view of me and start focusing on His view of me. 

I STINK AT THAT. 

Really.

I am even worse at it than I am at driving.  Which is saying something.  Just ask Val Quinby.  Or my husband.  Or my kids.  Or my dad.

A BOX IN A BOX! 

Oh, dear; I digress. 

See…

I want to seem smart. 

I want to seem wise. 

I want to seem practical. 

I want to seem responsible. 

I want to seem dependable. 

But lately, I’ve just been getting a “You’re crazy” vibe.  Which means I’m actually in pretty good company, if I really think about it. 

Uh, Abe, honey, I know I’m like 99 and all, but I’m pretty sure I’m about to have your baby. 

Genesis 21:1-7:  The Lord kept his word and did for Sarah exactly what he had promised.  She became pregnant, and she gave birth to a son for Abraham in his old age. This happened at just the time God had said it would.  And Abraham named their son Isaac. Eight days after Isaac was born, Abraham circumcised him as God had commanded. Abraham was 100 years old when Isaac was born.  And Sarah declared, “God has brought me laughter.  All who hear about this will laugh with me.  Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse a baby? Yet I have given Abraham a son in his old age!”

So, Pharaoh, I just had a conversation with a bush.  But not just any bush, a burning one, only it wasn’t burning, just on fire, and anyways, the Lord of the bush—well, the Lord of everybody and everything—He wants you to free the millions of slaves on whom you depend to support your vast and wealthy economy.  

Exodus 5:1-3:  After this presentation to Israel’s leaders, Moses and Aaron went and spoke to Pharaoh. They told him, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: Let my people go so they may hold a festival in my honor in the wilderness.”  “Is that so?” retorted Pharaoh. “And who is the Lord? Why should I listen to him and let Israel go? I don’t know the Lord, and I will not let Israel go.”   But Aaron and Moses persisted. “The God of the Hebrews has met with us,” they declared. “So let us take a three-day journey into the wilderness so we can offer sacrifices to the Lord our God. If we don’t, he will kill us with a plague or with the sword.”

Hey, guys!  We’re going to defeat a whole nation of giant heathens by marching around their wall and singing!  

Joshua 6:6-7:  So Joshua called together the priests and said, “Take up the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant, and assign seven priests to walk in front of it, each carrying a ram’s horn.” Then he gave orders to the people: “March around the town, and the armed men will lead the way in front of the Ark of the Lord.”

Um, so you 100 men, it’s time to fight this gigantic army, that outnumbers us by a handful less than, oh, let’s see, a BILLION, yeah, we’re going to fight them with torches and trumpets.  Ya’ll ready to rumble? 

Judges 7:17-18:  Then he said to them, “Keep your eyes on me. When I come to the edge of the camp, do just as I do. As soon as I and those with me blow the rams’ horns, blow your horns, too, all around the entire camp, and shout, ‘For the Lord and for Gideon!’”

Relax, King! I can beat your enemy all by myself!  He outweighs me by like…a small house, but I’ve got this! 

1 Samuel 17:32-37:   “Don’t worry about this Philistine,” David told Saul. “I’ll go fight him!”  “Don’t be ridiculous!” Saul replied. “There’s no way you can fight this Philistine and possibly win! You’re only a boy, and he’s been a man of war since his youth.”  But David persisted. “I have been taking care of my father’s sheep and goats,” he said. “When a lion or a bear comes to steal a lamb from the flock,  I go after it with a club and rescue the lamb from its mouth. If the animal turns on me, I catch it by the jaw and club it to death.  I have done this to both lions and bears, and I’ll do it to this pagan Philistine, too, for he has defied the armies of the living God!  The Lord who rescued me from the claws of the lion and the bear will rescue me from this Philistine!” Saul finally consented. “All right, go ahead,” he said. “And may the Lord be with you!”

So…I know you could kill me just for being here and all…but if you would just listen, I have this slightly kind of large favor to ask of you, Mr. King, Sir…

Esther 7:3-4:  Queen Esther replied, “If I have found favor with the king, and if it pleases the king to grant my request, I ask that my life and the lives of my people will be spared. For my people and I have been sold to those who would kill, slaughter, and annihilate us. If we had merely been sold as slaves, I could remain quiet, for that would be too trivial a matter to warrant disturbing the king.”

I know that your people will hate me and abuse me, and that we’ll probably starve to death.  But really, my dear mother-in-law, I don’t want to go back to my wealthy and settled family.  I want to come with you.  To be poor.  And probably die. 

Ruth 1:16-18:   But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.  Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!”  When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, she said nothing more.

And let’s not forget the mother of all crazies. 

So, Joe, I’m pregnant.  But don’t worry; I didn’t cheat on you.  I’m still a virgin.  God put this baby in my womb so He could be born and grow up to save the world from sin. 

Matthew 1:18-19:  This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly.

Crazy seems to be God’s M.O.

Why?

Well, I found that answer on top of a mountain, which was where I really began to think about what the Bible says about perspective. 

1 Corinthians 13:1-13:  If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.  If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!  Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.  When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

In this chapter, God asks me to do CRAZY things.

To be patient.

To be kind. 

To refrain from jealousy. 

To refrain from boasting. 

To refrain from pride.

To refrain from rudeness.

To refrain from demanding my own way. 

To refrain from keeping records of wrong.

To refrain from rejoicing about injustice. 

To rejoice over truth. 

To never give up. 

To never lose faith.

To always be faithful.

To endure through every circumstance. 

Try that for one day with everyone you come in contact.  I guarantee you’ll get some crazy stares. 

Why?

Because we as humans cannot possibly see the BIG PICTURE and understand why doing these crazy things is so important. 

But God sees.  And we’ll see, too, someday.  1 Corinthians 13:12 says that we see confusing things that are imperfect—but one day, we’ll get why the “crazy” things are so necessary. 

I realized that on top of Max Patch Mountain.  When I’m at the base looking up, all I see is this impossibly difficult climb.  Why would anyone want to try that?  All I can see is the mountain.  But if I embrace the crazy, put one foot in front of the other, even when my brain and thigh muscles and lungs are screaming, “What the heck?!?!?—“  I will eventually get to the top.  And I will see the rolling hills, the mountains that are so beautiful I can hardly stand to blink.  And I will think, “Man, that was so worth it!” 

My sister, Annie, my cousin, Mary, and me on Max Patch Mountain

See, God has that view all the time.  And He’s at the top, telling me, who is at the bottom, to climb up.  But I can’t see the whole picture.  I can’t understand why so much work could be “worth it.”  But one day I will see—if I just turn from my selfish ways, take up my cross, and follow Jesus up the side of the mountain (paraphrase of Matthew 16:24). 

My dad touched on this when he wrote a tribute to the former mayor of my old stomping grounds.  He said: 

“Roger had something to sell and it was his city, his community and the people he shared it with.  He truly believed Bucyrus and Crawford County could and would recover.  He believed it so strongly that he had little time and perhaps less patience for those who insisted otherwise.  Such is often the case with a visionary.  A visionary can see because he or she will not let themselves become overwhelmed and allow obstacles and issues to drown out and block off what lies beyond.  It’s called perspective.  It’s a little like moving your hand far enough away from your face to see what’s on the other side.  Roger had that perspective for his community.” 

I guess you could say that I have something to sell. 

It’s not adoption.

It’s not even caring for orphans. 

Selling those is God’s job, through the convicting words of scripture. 

What’s mine to sell is God’s redeeming grace. 

He made it available to me thousands of years ago when He sent His Son to pay for my sins on a shameful, pain filled, wooden cross. 

And in Matthew 28:19-20, Jesus commands me to share it with others:  Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Which is exactly what Marc and I believe we’re doing as we travel this mountain trail of adoption…

To a country on the brink of civil war.

To a set of twins, who have difficult diagnoses.

To a life of unpredictable hardship not just for us but for our community of family and friends. 

I guess embracing the crazy means that I stop worrying about what I see, and what those around me see, and I start trusting the eyes of God, who sees all things. 

Jeremiah 29:11   For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

The F Word Had Four Letters

In my entire life (I am 30, now, you know) I have had 2 out-of-body experiences, if you don't count the numerous times I was on medication for kidney stones. Believe me...there's a slew of stories there. But you're not going to hear them today! Both of my non-medicated out-of-body experiences were in high school. On each occassion, I got so angry that I just lost myself. The first time was in chemistry class. Now, let me preface this by saying that I was NOT GOOD at chemsitry. My lab partner (A.K.A. my best friend) and I couldn't even round off the edges of our glass stirrer sticks without: 1. melting them together 2. melting them to our hair 3. melting them to the inside of the trash can. (Hannah and I celebrating the survival of chemistry class) Ah, fond memories. It may be pointless to say, but my chemistry teacher and I did not have the best relationship. It wasn't just because the other Ms. Break-It and I were total clutzes; it also had to do with the fact that I always needed to know WHY. And my teacher, whose God-given personality was much different than mine, didn't always feel the need to fill me in on the WHY. Anyways... One day in chemistry class, I got so angry that I went into a kind of trance. I snapped out of it when I heard someone say the D-word. Out loud. In the middle of class. I gasped in shock, and looked over at my best friend (A.K.A. let's see who can blow it up first) and I said, "Oh my goodness! Someone just said the D-word!" And she said, "Yeah! You did!" WHAT?!? I couldn't believe it! I was so angry I had no memory of cursing. And thankfully, my chemistry teacher was either so distracted or so angry herself that she didn't recall hearing it. I scooted my foul-mouthed hiney out of a detention that day. But I deserved one. I wish I could say that chemsitry class was the only time I ever swore. But it's not true. And lately, I've been going head-to-head with another foul, four letter word. F-E-A-R. It was buried deep, but its roots were thick, and I've had one heck of a time digging it out of my heart. For a long time, I didn't know it was there. I spent years treating the symptoms of fear, and then Pastor Gebhards gave a sermon of conquering sin that made it all come into light. To har him say it way better than I am going to, click on this link: Overcoming Stubborn Sins  The main scriptures Pastor Gebhards used were: James 1:13-16: When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. James 4:1-3: What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. Pastor Gebhards used these scriptures to describe the process of sin. Step #1: Our AMBITIONS and MOTIVATIONS WHY do we do what we do? These are deep in our hearts. Step #2: Our DESIRES and LUSTS WHAT we seek after based on our ambitions and motivations. Step #3: TEMPTATION Satan and the world tempt us based on our desires. Step #4: SIN WHAT we do or don't do that brings grief to God. Step #5: DEATH If we continue in sin and do not stop to repent and allow God to make us new, then our sin ends in death. Hell. Eternal separation from Christ. Pastor Gebhards said that most people wage war on sin somewhere on the ground between temptation and sin. This is a losing battle. It's like holding a bite of chocolate cake in your mouth and trying not to swallow. The battle needs to be fought on the grounds of motivation and desire. What does the Bible say about motivation and desire? 2 Corinthians 5:9: So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. We did this exercise in our Lifegroup where we chose a sin and worked backwards to see what our desires and motivations were. Here's what mine looked like. Step #4: SIN: Bad attitude towards Marc and his decisions. Step #3: TEMPTATION: Frustration because he doesn't do things my way. Step #2: DESIRE: To be in control. Step #1: MOTIVATION: Fear of future/being out of control. I needed to deal with the root of fear; otherwise I would just continue to keep being tempted in the same way, and I'd keep falling into the same sin. Why? Because I'm human. It's what we do. Over the next few months, I made an effort to do this process with a lot of my sins. And almost every single time, I found that my motivation was FEAR. Ugh. Big, fat root. Growing lots of ugly thistles. Time to do some weeding. I made a long list of things I feared: safety of my children, acceptance of the world, weakness, discomfort, and on and on and on. Next, I needed to see what the Bible said about FEAR. When I searched I found that it wasn't fear itself that was causing me problems, it was what I was fearing.  And what I wasn't fearing. I wasn't fearing the LORD. Here's what the Bible says about fearing the LORD: Deuteronomy 5:29: Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me and keep all my commands always, so that it might go well with them and their children forever! Joshua 24:14: Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. Proverbs 1:7: Fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; only fools despise wisdom and discipline. 1 Peter 2:17: Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor. It was obvious that I needed to change my motivation. Here's how that change played out on paper: Step #1: MOTIVATION: Fear of the LORD Step #2: DESIRE: Honor and glorify God Step #3: TEMPTATION: Fear something other than God Step #4: SIN: Instead of falling into sin, the outcome is faith. Surrender. Humility. LIFE. Now, just like everything else in life, "Easier said than done." It is so, so true. But, to use another cliche, the first step to solving any problem is, uh, finding out what the real problem is. Or something like that. And discovering the ROOT of my sin issues has allowed me to start down the path of solution. Restoration. Redemption. The amazing thing is that on that path, I don't do the work; God does. I just submit to Him. Even still, I fail. All the time. I worry that people will think we're adopting because we're crazy or motivated solely by emotion. I worry that I won't be a good enough mother to my existing children and my incoming children. I worry about what the social worker will think of our house. I worry that our children will resent our decision to adopt (though they are both absolutely thrilled right now :) ). I worry that we won't raise enough money.  I worry that I won't ever get to soak in a bath tub again.  But in the midst of all that worry and fear, the Holy Spirit reminds me of what I've learned: that the only thing I need to fear is the LORD. And so I drag my feet that are weary with worry and I stumble back on the path that leads to LIFE. I reset my motivation by spending quiet time in prayer and in God's Word. And I find, through God's perfect grace, the strength to fear the LORD. 1 Chronicles 16:25: For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods. **P.S.  I updated our adoption timeline again!  Check it out by scrolling to the top of this page and clicking "here."**

Never Say Never

MY SISTER IS ENGAGED!

I am so excited! 

A)      That she married an awesome man

B)     That she finally made it Facebook Official so that I can scream and shout the news from the top of Grandfather Mountain

And

C)     So I can PLAN, PLAN, PLAN!

I have an entire Pinterest board designated to lighting, flowers, photography, and invitations.  

I am so ready for this. 

Of course, the first thing I did when I found out was to begin peppering them with questions. 

When?

Where?

How many?

Colors?

Theme?

And believe it or not, this was their response: 

We’ll call you an hour ahead of time and let you know when to show up. 

See, they knew me.  They knew my penchant, my desire, my passion for planning. 

For arranging.

For controlling.

For taking over.

Ugh. 

They are so right. 

I LOVE TO PLAN. 

I love to color code and chart and graph and statistize, which is probably not even a word. 

I honestly don’t think any of those things is bad…in moderation. 

And how do you moderate something?

You surrender it.  You give up control.  You say, okay, LORD, I am on the road that leads to YOU.  And if at some point the road of planning takes a detour, I will not follow it.  I will continue to seek you. 

Easier said than done, eh? 

Especially for me. 

God actually had to land my day planner in the washing machine in order to get me to surrender my plans. 

Really! 

I especially struggle when it comes to the big things.  I want to be able to VISUALIZE my life 5, 10, 20, 50 years from now.  And I work and hone that image until it’s just right.  And then I say to God, “Okay!  I’ve got things figured out.  This is exactly how I want it.  And in order to ensure my version of a picture perfect future, I know this: 

I will NEVER quit this job. 

I will NEVER home school. 

I will NEVER move from this house. 

I will NEVER adopt children with special needs.

Write it down, LORD.  I mean it.” 

I sure don’t sound like a humble human approaching the throne of the almighty, sovereign God. 

And He is Almighty. 

Revelation 19:6   Then I heard again what sounded like the shout of a vast crowd or the roar of mighty ocean waves or the crash of loud thunder:  “Praise the Lord!   For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns.”

And He is Sovereign. 

Isaiah 40:10 Yes, the Sovereign Lord is coming in power.  He will rule with a powerful arm.  See, he brings his reward with him as he comes.

Which means I can scream and shout my plans and my nevers from the top of Grandfather  Mountain, and He is going to do His Will anyways. 

In the Bible, there’s an analogy of God, the potter, and our hearts, the clay. 

Isaiah 64:8 And yet, O Lord, you are our Father.  We are the clay, and you are the potter.  We all are formed by your hand.

Any potter will tell you that soft, supple clay is much easier to use.  Hard clay must be pounded and kneaded and thrown against an even harder surface in order to soften it so that it can be made into pottery.  And clay that turns itself into something that God cannot use—that takes itself through the fire—must be smashed into bits and ground down so that the process can be started all over again. 

Jeremiah 19:1,10:  This is what the Lord said to me: “Go and buy a clay jar. Then ask some of the leaders of the people and of the priests to follow you…. As these men watch you, Jeremiah, smash the jar you brought.”

Jeremiah 31:4 “I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel.  You will again be happy and dance merrily with your tambourines.”

OUCH!

God has been busting up and grinding out my nevers for a long time. 

I am weary.

I am weak. 

And you know what the Bible says about being WEARY and WEAK? 

2 Corinthians 12:9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

It means I am finally ready to be used by God. 

To be a full time mother. 

To move to a bigger house…

so we have room for our adopted special needs children…

who I will home school for at least the first year they are home. 

If there’s one thing that God has taught me over the last 2 years, it’s this:  Being weak and weary and in the hands of God is much better than being strong and steady on my own. 

And I’ve never felt so weak and weary as I have throughout this adoption process! 

I can plan all I want to, but most days I am at the mercy of government officials and the United States Postal (as in POST when it needed to get there, as in POSTAL driving me POSTAL crazy) Service. 

Seven thousand things seem to have already delayed our process. 

Family crises with the people at our home study agency.

Silly, tiny mistakes in our dossier paperwork. 

The Ohio Secretary of State apostilling documents wrong.  

County assessors who refuse to sign our paperwork. 

I could go on and on!

And…

 Seven thousand things could continue delay our process, even after the courts officially  declare the girls as part of our family. 

We could travel in 4 months or in 7 months. 

We could come home with the girls whose pictures we display proudly, or we could land ourselves in Eastern Europe only to find that they’ve already been adopted by someone else, or they’ve gone home to be with Jesus. 

And let’s not forget the billions of medical misdiagnoses or non-diagnoses the girls could have! 

Or the fact that they have been transferred to an institution…which is FAR worse than even difficult orphanages. 

AHHHHHHHH! 

It’s enough to drive even the most laid-back person insane. 

But it’s God’s plan. 

God’s way. 

And while every single thing could go wrong, I know that He will work it all out for His glorious definition of good. 

Romans 8:28:  And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

And while it may seem as though nothing in the world could possibly convince the governments or organizations involved to cooperate, God can, because He is the One who has placed them in authority. 

Romans 13:1:  Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.

The only never is this: 

Deuteronomy 31:8:  The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

The almighty, sovereign God of the universe has promised to never leave me or forsake me—me, who sins and scoffs at His plans for my life, who must be kneaded and pounded and ground down to dust before I finally surrender to His hand. 

1 Peter 5:6-7:  So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Six is Greater than Four

It is true! Six is greater than four. Ask any math teacher, and they will tell you that the aforementioned is indeed an indisputable fact. End of story. But it is, in fact, only the beginning of our tale! However, before I spill those beans, I have a confession.

Here goes.

So, I used to tell my husband on a regular basis that he was going to hell. And I said it with all seriousness. I judged his soul and found it wanting.

Why, you may ask?

Because I thought I had the right. I thought I was better than he was, more righteous, more sanctified, more holy.

I had a date.

He did not.

What am I talking about?

Salvation. Redemption. Faith.

Romans 3:22 says, We are made right in God's sight when we trust in Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we all can be saved in this same way, no matter who we are or what we have done.

I did that. And I knew exactly when I verbally professed it. I sat in a chair on my grandmother's lap on December 24, 1988, and prayed to ask Jesus to forgive my sins.

The End.

My handsome hubby, on the other hand, didn't have such firm, find-it-on-a-calendar, affirming proof of his profession. In his words, his redemption and journey to faith in Christ was a process.

I didn't like that.

So instead of confronting the part of me that got really uncomfortable when he said things like that, I just told him in all seriousness that he'd better figure out his date or he was going to hell.

How wrong was I?

I found out just how wrong I was when I started studying the book of James.

Now, James doesn't disagree with Paul, who wrote Romans. But he does expand a little on the idea of faith. See, both men wrote with different purposes and different audiences in mind.

Paul, in Romans, was talking to people who believed the law would save them, and he wanted them to understand that faith was necessary-not the law. He also wanted to show the purpose of faith, which is salvation.

James, in James, was talking to people, who, like me, believed that an intellectual knowledge of God and a verbal profession were all the proof one needed to defend his or her salvation based on faith. His goal was to show the actual proof of faith, which is works.

James 2:14-20 says this: Dear brothers and sisters, what's the use of saying you have faith if you don't prove it by your actions? That kind of faith can't save anyone. Suppose you see a brother or sister who needs food or clothing, and you say, "Well, good-bye and God bless you; stay warm and eat well"--but then you don't give that person any food or cloth. What good does that do? So you see, it isn't enough just to have faith . Faith that doesn't show itself by good deeds is no faith at all--it is dead and useless. Now someone may argue, "Some people have faith; others have good deeds." I say, "I can't see your faith if you don't have good deeds, but I will show you my faith through my good deeds." Do you still think it's enough just to believe that there is one God? Well, even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror! Fool! When will you ever learn that faith that does not result in good deeds is useless?

See, we are going to be judged one day. And Revelation 20:12 says exactly how we will be judged. The second half of the verse says: And the dead were judged according to the things written in the books, according to what they had done. 

But Becky, isn't that believing in salvation through works?

No!

Our faith in Christ saves us. But our actions prove that faith is real.

No actions, no faith. No faith, no salvation.

An oven set to 350 degrees is hot.

Which person has faith in this fact?

The person who says, "The oven is hot!" but still touches it?

Or the person who keeps his hands out of the oven?

It's nice to have a date of profession.

But the date isn't important unless my actions prove that the faith I professed on that date is REAL.  

And in order for my actions to prove my faith, I must go through the process of aligning my actions to God's word.  

Talk about a process!  

That' what my loving, patient husband was trying to explain to me.  

Now, for each of us, figuring out what actions God has called us to means spending time in God's Word and asking for wisdom, as James calls us to do.

 James 1:5-6: If you need wisdom--if you want to know what God wants you to do--ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 

Which, in my limited and simple manner of understanding, means that if I'm going to ask God to show me what to do, I need to make sure that I am ready to follow whatever answer He gives because otherwise I am not truly believing in his power and his goodness.

Over the last 6 months Marc and I have spent a lot of time on our knees asking for wisdom, and it has become clear to us through that process that God is answering our pleas with a directive to something big.

Something scary.

Something beautiful.

Something that mirrors the redemption that He gave to us when He saved us from our sins.

Something that we know God will use to prove to us that 6 is, indeed, greater than 4.

He is calling us to adopt!

I cannot wait to share with you through this blog the journey that Marc and I have taken as we've submitted to God in this GIGANTIC UNDERTAKING! But I must save those six thousand stories for later posts!

What I will tell you now is this:

If the Lord allows, we are going to be adopting twin girls from Eastern Europe.

So the Collier family of four will soon be the Collier family of six! 

This is a big deal for all of you as well, and I say that because I am assuming that if you're reading this post, you have a part in our lives.

1 Corinthians 12 describes believers as the body of Christ, and verse 26 says: If one part suffers, all parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

We know and are so very aware that following God's call in this means that you all will be required to suffer with us and to be honored with us. We take that very seriously, and we ask you to take it seriously as well.

Please join us in praying, not only for our future daughters and for our current little family of four, but also for yourselves. Pray that God will reveal to you your role in this journey. Pray that God will soften your heart to serve and to move in whatever way He calls you. Pray that He will guide your words and your actions to be convicting and revealing and encouraging and motivated by true, pure, Christ-like love. And pray that God fulfills His Will in your life concerning adoption.

Is He calling you to pray for adoptive families and orphans?

Is He calling you to support them with your time? With your spiritual gifts? With your financial blessings?

Is He calling you to become an advocate for orphans?

Is He calling you to adopt?

Ask Him all of those things, and ask Him for wisdom, with an understanding that He will gladly give it as long as you are willing to accept it, no matter what it is.

We would like to leave you with the verses that have been poured into our souls and seared into our minds as we have traveled the first leg of this journey.

James 1:27 Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us. 

Psalm 68:5-6 Father to the fatherless, defender of widows--this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.