To My Son's First Crush

Could you tell? 

I wasn’t sure.  It was so obvious to me. 

Not at first, I must admit. 

He loved school.

But he’d always loved school. 

However, there seemed to be a special gleam in his eye this year, when he talked about what he was learning from his teacher. 

Our conversations were mostly about what the teacher said and how she said it and how she looked and the amazing way that her mind seemed to work just like his in processing information.  He rarely mentioned his friends or his favorite subjects. 

And I started to wonder. 

Then we saw you at church. 

“Should I go and say hi!?”

Sure, I answered. 

“I don’t know.  I mean, we’re not at school.”

But he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. 

And then you came over to say hi to him. 

And his smile was wide.  His eyes were sparkling, though he turned them down slightly, a little sheepish. 

My first thought was concern. 

He was too young for a crush. 

But as I watched and listened, I realized that, in a world that pushes our children into sexuality at an alarmingly early age, there was nothing sexual about his feelings. 

He was a young boy, responding to the God-given desire inside of him to search for a helpmate.  And in you, he saw so many good things. 

He saw your intelligence. 

He saw your kindness. 

He saw your enthusiasm.

He saw your gentleness.

He saw your capability.

He saw your patience. 

He saw your strength. 

He saw your goodness. 

He saw your selflessness. 

He saw your honesty.

He saw your wisdom.

He saw your love for God. 

These were the things that caught his eye.

Or, I guess I should say, caught his heart. 

I watched him watch you; I watched him glow under your praise, and I held him the day he cried because you had corrected his behavior.  It broke his heart—not because you were unkind or unreasonable—but because your opinion mattered to him more than just about anybody else’s. 

And I realized that, though I didn’t feel ready for my son to have his first crush, his choosing you for such an honor was a really good thing.  It meant that his mind was focusing on the qualities in a woman that would enhance and enrich his life, and ultimately bring him closer to God.  He hadn’t allowed himself to be distracted by the short lived, shallow amenities that the world inflates and overemphasizes.  It gave me great hope as I imagined him in twenty years, finding a woman to be his wife. 

He cried again, on the last day of school—the realization that his days in your classroom were over was too much for him to handle on that tired afternoon. 

But today, we started a summer of healing. 

And yet, no matter how much he heals, I pray that he never forgets you. 

Because I pray that, someday, he finds someone just like you. 

Proverbs 31:10-31, NLT

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?  She is worth more than precious rubies.  Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.  She will not hinder him but help him all her life.  She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.  She is like a merchant ship.  She brings her food from afar.  She gets up each morning before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.  She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings, she plants a vineyard.  She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.  She watches for bargains; her lights burn late into the night.  Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.  She extends a helping hand to the poor, and opens her arms to the needy.  She has no fear of winter for her household because all of them have warm clothes.  She quilts her own bedspreads.  She dresses like royalty in gowns of finest cloth.  Her husband is well known, for he sits in the council meeting with the other civic leaders.  She makes belted linen sashes to sell to the merchants.  She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future.  When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions.  She carefully watches all that goes on in her household, and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness.  Her children stand and bless her.  Her husband praises her:  There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all.  Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.  Reward her for all she has done.  Let her deeds publicly declare her  praise.