But I want you all to understand something very clearly: we don't have it because God isn't ready for us to have it.
It is so easy to grow angry at USCIS. Trust me. I know. I called and got snarky and had to call back and apologize.
It is so easy to grow angry at people whose mistakes caused our delay. Trust me. I know. I wanted to call and get snarky, but thankfully I'd learned my lesson the time before.
It is so easy to blame my own mistakes and carelessness. Trust me. I know. I have been working to accept God's forgiveness and understanding all week.
But GOD IS BIGGER.
Bigger than USCIS.
Bigger than social workers.
And most definitely bigger than me.
If he wanted us to have it already, we would.
Why doesn't he want us to have it?
Read this poem.
| WAIT (Taken from "Follow Me!" by Russell Kelfer, copyright 1995. Published by Discipleship Tape Ministries, Inc., and Into His Likeness Publications. Used by permission.) Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried. Quietly, patiently, lovingly, He replied. I pleaded, and I wept for a clue to my fate, And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait." "Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply. "Lord, I need answers, I need to know why. Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard? By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word. "My future, and all to which I can relate Hangs in the balance, and you tell me 'wait'? I'm needing a 'yes,' or a go-ahead sign, Or even a 'no,' to which I can resign. "And Lord, you have promised that if we believe, We need but to ask, and we shall receive. And Lord I've been asking, and this in my cry: I'm weary of asking: I need a reply!" Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate As my Master replied once again, "You must wait." So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut And grumbled to God; "So I'm waiting, for what?" He seemed then to kneel and His eyes met with mine And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign. I could shake the heavens, darken the sun, Raise the dead, cause the mountains to run. "All you see I could give, and pleased you would be. You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me. You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint; You'd not know the power that I give to the faint. "You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair; You'd not learn to trust, just by knowing I'm there. You'd not know the joy of resting in Me, When darkness and silence was all you could see. "You would never experience that fullness of love As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove. You would know that I give, and I save, for a start, But you'd not know the depth and the beat of my heart. "The glow of My comfort late in the night' The faith that I give when you walk without sight; The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask From an infinate God who makes what you have last. "And you never would know, should your pain quickly flee, What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.' Yes, your dreams for that loved one o'ernight could come true, But the loss! if you lost what I'm doing in you. "So be silent, my child, and in time you will see That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me. And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late, My most precious answer of all...is still...wait." And that is his message for me. For Marc. For Will. For Michael. For Leily. For Lilly. He loves us so much that he is willing, knowing the hardships we must endure, to tell us to wait. What an awesome God.
Philippians 4:12-13 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
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