I love to laugh.
God knows that.
I know God knows that because He graciously gives me 1,572
reasons to laugh every day.
Like yesterday, when I got home from tutoring all morning
only to find that my pants were on inside out.
HAHA!
It was the second time I had done it.
I also like to look back and laugh at my past self.
You know, the girl in high school who though she had more
wisdom than her parents.
HA.
Or the mother of one, who, pregnant with #2, thought she had
learned everything there was to know about parenting and who though she would
have no problems with her second child because, of course, he would be just
like kid #1.
Right.
Because that happens to
NO ONE.
EVER.
I now know that Kid #1 is only the first hurdle in the long
distance race of parenting.
I think that’s kind of how I was with submission. I got over the first hurdle…thinking that the
sinful beast of rebellion was conquered for good….only to find that I had
climbed a mere foothill at the base of a long, tall chain of mountains.
I have been studying James, and at the end of chapter 4,
I found these verses: 13-17: Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow
we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a
profit.” How do you know what your life
will be like tomorrow? Your life is like
the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants
us to, we will live and do this or that.”
Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting
is evil. Remember, it is sin to know
what you ought to do and then not do it.
I read these verses right before we were getting ready to
announce to the world that we were going to adopt twin girls from Eastern
Europe. And I was like, “OH! Wise point, James! I need to add LORD WILLING to my big blog
post announcement!”
So off I went to the computer to type them in.
As I pushed those keys, their weight became
suffocating.
LORD WILLING.
LORD WILLING.
LORD.
WILLING.
The Lord might not will us to do this!
But he called us to
it! We’re sure of that, I argued
with myself.
And the still, small
voice of heavenly reason whispered back, “Yes, Becky, but this journey is not
about you. Or the girls. It is about bringing glory and honor to
God. You must be willing to submit to
his path for you, even if it doesn’t end the way you plan. To God be the glory. Not to Becky.
Not even to the sweet souls known on Reece’s Rainbow as Nadia and
Nancy.” **
Ugh. I clumped back
to my study books.
John MacArthur referred to people who boasted of their plans
without leaving room for God’s divine sovereignty as practical atheists.
That’s a pretty strong statement.
But it’s true.
Matthew Henry put it this way: James says that we must be constantly aware
of how dependent we are on God’s Will.
It is vital that we say “Lord Willing” at all times, reverently and
seriously, out loud when appropriate and always in our prayers and devotions.
The bottom line is, I can’t brag to the world that Marc and
I are going to adopt these beautiful girls because:
1.
That
miraculous event would be God’s to claim, not ours.
and
2.
We are followers of Christ, which means our
futures are in His hands. He controls
the outcome of all of this….not me. Not
even Marc.
As my sad, stubborn, rebellious hear began to process all of
this, I reacted with humility, acceptance, and grace.
NOT.
I ran.
I quit my Bible study on James for about 4 days and immersed
myself in YAHOO News. Because they get
the facts STRAIGHT.
And a Malaysian airplane was shot down.
And troops “next door” began training exercises.
And sanctions were flying back and forth so quickly that
they were leaving streaks on my computer screen.
I began to panic.
What if?
What if?
I knew where to go to find comfort.
But I was afraid of what I’d be asked to give up.
I went anyways.
And I surrendered my rebellion.
I took off my yoke, and I put on His.
Matthew 11:28-30: Then Jesus
said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will
give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and
gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I
give you is light.”
And I was lighter.
And I did find rest.
God soothed my troubled soul through the eternal perspective
that radiates through scripture.
James 4:14: How do you know what
your life will be like tomorrow? Your
life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.
If my girls suffer their entire lives on this earth, their
lives are still but a vapor compared to eternity.
Matthew 5:11-12: God blesses you
when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of
evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad!
For a great reward awaits you in heaven.
And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.
If my girls suffer because of the fearful and wonderful way
God made them, they will be rewarded in heaven.
And then I read this beauty:
Psalm 68:5 Father to the
fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
Which means that while our girls are waiting for a family,
God is their FATHER!
Wow!
It doesn’t get better than that!
It doesn’t mean my girls aren’t suffering, either.
But GOD KNOWS that what the girls are gaining from their
current situation is of far greater value eternally than earthly ease or
comfort.
I realized that Yahoo News was not truth, but that these
things were:
Bad guy troops cannot set foot onto good guy soil without
God ordaining it.
Matthew 8:27: The disciples were
amazed. “Who is this man?” they asked.
“Even the winds and waves obey him!”
Our girls cannot be separated from God’s love.
Romans 8:35-39: Can anything
ever separate us from Christ’s love?
Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or
are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with
death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your
sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming
victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor
demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the
powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.
No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation
will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in
Christ Jesus our Lord.
If I enter into life with the purpose of bringing glory to
God, I cannot fail.
2 Thessalonians 1:11-12: So we
keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of
his call. May he give you the power to
accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. Then the name of our Lord Jesus will be
honored because of the way you live, and you will be honored along with
him. This is all made possible because of
the grace of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ.
And I must SUBMIT to HIS WILL. And when I do, I will find that I can
REJOICE, no matter where I find that path leading me.
So, we may be adopting twin girls, if the Lord allows.
But we will for sure be bringing glory to God.
Isaiah 26:8: Lord, we show our
trust in you by obeying your laws; our heart’s desire is to glorify your
name.
PS…We have news! Click HERE or the “HERE” at the top of the
page to find our latest update! WOO
HOO!!!!
**Nadia and Nancy are not the girls' real names. They are also not the names we have picked out for them! To check out what we're going to name them, click on this link and watch our youngest, Michael, teaching Russian! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yKUPft1rZU
**Nadia and Nancy are not the girls' real names. They are also not the names we have picked out for them! To check out what we're going to name them, click on this link and watch our youngest, Michael, teaching Russian! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yKUPft1rZU
I saw those names in the video and wondered if they were the names you were planning to give them.
ReplyDeleteI feel such a connection to you, even though you do not know me. My husband and I have been watching and "checking in on" Nadia & Nancy on RR for a long time. When I saw them, I felt like they could be our girls we never had of our own. We have three boys that God has blessed us with, but before any of them were born, my husband and I had two names for girls picked out. I have cried over the years at the girls that we would not have, in the back of my mind, telling myself that God could do miracles and whatever He wanted for us. I even had family members mention adoption to me. It is something that I didn't think we would ever do. Then we watched another family that we know adopt two boys internationally, and we became acquainted with the faces on RR. I looked off and on for a while. Then one day, "Nadia and Nancy" showed up. I thought...there's my two girls...why they look like I did as a small girl...wow...they even resemble my youngest boy. I emailed their photos to my own mom. It was a difficult time in our house as my family faced transition and a lot of unknown at the time. My husband was retiring from the military and we weren't sure where we would be living, what job he would have, etc. We knew we would not be able to adopt at that time. Then, he got a job that allowed us to stay in our home, and he would be employed. The girls were still waiting. I remember crawling into bed and asking him, "So....can we get the girls now?" These girls were on each of our hearts and minds at different times. It seemed however that we oscillated back and forth between us....we could do it, no we couldn't do it, how could we do it...what would it mean for our other children....etc..etc... I continued to "check in" on the status of the girls which I had already given their new names to make sure they were still there. Were they waiting for us? Many tears were shed through the process. Then one day, a friend shared that a family had committed to the girls. I was crushed and yet happy at the same time. I had been praying that if we weren't the family or if God just knew our hearts were not going to submit, that the girls would not suffer at our expense and that God would send them a loving family before it was too late. Now I get to see the family God is sending... that the family is yours. I have to confess to you, that I will always have a part of me that feels like they are mine, too, "my Miranda and Chloe." I have loved them, contemplated their futures, and prayed for them. I am not sure why my husband and I could not or would not reach the point of diving in. I try to examine myself and ask if we weren't willing to listen to God and surrender or if it simply wasn't God's plan for us. Maybe I wasn't the one God had planned to be their mother after all. Perhaps I was meant to love them and lament for them and cover them in prayer while they waited until God could lead them to you! I am so very grateful for you and your family and for your willingness to surrender the call of your lives to God's will and to adopt these two beautiful girls across the ocean. I will be following your journey and praying for you all. I would love the opportunity to send you some things from time to time for the girls if you wouldn't mind. Blessings, Michelle
ReplyDelete